The Art of Thoughtfulness

Most of the time, most people treat others only according to what is expected.

We are polite, but we're not caring. We're not rude, but we're not kind, either. We say "please" and "thank you" (maybe), but we don't show people how much we truly appreciate them.

And that's fine. We're not being rude, after all. No one expects anything more of us.

But in a world where avoiding rudeness is all that is required, a little thoughtfulness goes a long way.

• The college professor who remembers the name and one interesting fact about every student he meets - so that when they meet again, he can say, "Hello, Elizabeth! How's your little brother's baseball season going?" - is thoughtful.


• The woman who makes sure there are gluten-free foods available at her party when she invites her friend who has a gluten allergy, is thoughtful.


• The man who brings back a well-chosen souvenir from his Hawaiian vacation for his coworker who has always dreamed of going to Hawaii but has never been, is thoughtful.


• The girl who knows that her friend doesn't really care for birthday cake, and bakes her a birthday pie instead, is thoughtful.

Such acts of thoughtfulness are not required, or even expected. But they are very meaningful to the recipients.

Thoughtfulness requires a bit of extra work, and a bit of extra thinking. In particular, thoughtfulness requires that we think about the other person - what they like and dislike and need, rather than what is socially normal. It requires that we take time to listen, and to learn the people around us, and to look for ways to make their days brighter. It requires intentionality.

What would happen if marketers took the time to be thoughtful?

If we thought about what our customers need (or what we would need if we were in their shoes)? If we took time to listen to our customers and to find out their likes and dislikes? If we learned their wants, both on a collective level and on an individual level?

• Would we provide umbrella-drying racks inside our doors for rainy days?


• Would we provide hand lotion, in addition to soap, in our public restrooms, for the dry, chapped winter hands?


• Would we remember that Customer Tom's favorite band is Journey, and send him two tickets for a Journey concert near him to thank him for being a valued customer?


• Would we take note that Customer Julie tends to purchase a lot of Product X from us, and send her a coupon for a free unit of Product X on her birthday? (And a coupon for Product Y to Customer Bill, and a coupon for Product Z to Customer Myra?)

Again, these acts of thoughtfulness are not required. They are not even expected. And they require extra work, extra listening, extra thinking.

But who says that we should only do the expected? And who says that a little extra thoughtfulness isn't good for us?